Thursday, December 24, 2015

Update 12-24-15

I have a good heart and am always there for people, I have a good heart that is sometimes misunderstood. Once I have a goal, I usually don't end up giving up on it. If I really like a Girl, I will
pursue her no matter what, unless she gets a restraining order if she thinks I would be a threat to her in any way. What usually happens is that it takes itself to the opposite extreme of what I
intended happen. All this drama and flood of emotion seemed to start from a day or two after Katie Denied my Relationship request. We've been going down deeper and deeper into out downward spiral of friendship, we are underground in our own hell. I am hoping things will pick back up by the next time we all see each other. if not, it's gonna be rather awkward, and the tension will rise
further until we are broken and hit rock bottom as this issue will be unbearably and consuming our lives as in the past two times. it's not easy to say now but, I think everything is going to be
alright. She isn't that type of person who does all the things I think she does. it's difficult, but we have lots of patience and intelligence for and about each other. I was so closet to being in
a normal relationship with her, but then this happened. We even texted back and forth a few times, which was really positive. Most of that is on the side right now and I just have to wait it out
and hope this dies down. When Tim, Steve, and I talk in person, I would like Katie to be there as well, since we're talking about her. I need to complain to Tim and Steve that when I need them
they aren't there. Their Phones are off the hook the whole day or their inboxes are full. I am on my phone more actively than they are. I've learned and grown from my mistakes but they still
happen, I thought it was over. I was close to asking her to unblock my facebook but this wall came up in my life and God just said "NO". Nobody's perfect, we can't live our lives holding on to
everything forever. Grudges are bad. When a girl gives up, it's not because she doesn't love you, but because she's tired of getting hurt & feels like you'll never care. I hate liking someone I
don't have a chance with. Even if we fight a lot, I still want her in m life. Every new day, we must refocus, to see the beauty of the moment. When you really care about someone, their happiness
matters more than yours. I want to meet myself from someone else's point of view. If I could only see what she sees and feel what she feels, it would help me understand where she and I are at.
It's sad when you realize you aren't as important to someone as you thought you were. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It's supposed to make you ache. There's a difference. The hardest decision is
deciding whether to "walk away" or "try harder." I notice everything, I just act like I don't. I still care even though I look mad. My protective Walls are up, and I am hiding behind them securely.

*****************************************************************************

Aside from that here are my updates...
I currently have two Jobs, one at Saladworks, and the other at a Company by the name of "Home Solutions" which is a Medical Deliver Company. I Drive and Pack Boxes out to Patients. I have a
reasonable source of income at the moment, but it's not enough if I don't get enough hours. I bought a Samsung Galaxy Core Prime for $100 with my first paycheck. I like it better than my Nokia
Phone. I am still trying to watch my YouTube Vlogs everyday, even if my internet turns off at a certain time, I have discovered Phone Tethering where I can connect my network to my PC and it works
almost the same but it's just slower. I've been emotionally stable, I am getting my body and mind ready for the talk of my life. Wrote this on Christmas Eve. Worked during the day, gave away my
Candy, left my Porta Speaker behind, gave my Gift to Deanna, hung out with Preston, went to New Life and Keystone Services, saw old friends from Thrive, saw Alli and Zack and a few other people
that haven't been around. it was good. Of course, Katie was there too, despite not seeing her car in the Driveway Parking lot, She came with Ian and what looked like her mother. I watched them
walk out the door, then from the window. There were Candles lit and glowsticks for the Kids. I sang the same songs twice. Mike, Ben, Bob, Christi, Andrew K, and all of the Shopes, all of the myers
family, and the rest of the general church population. Lots of people. Good times. I enjoyed Keystone better. New Life put me to sleep... no offense to Casey, Tommy, Joyce, or the Drummer.
Keystone only had 3. It was Sam T, Brad S, and another girl. Dan C still did sound, Ryan H and Jason M were there as well. Lots of familar faces from both ends. That is all for now.

Copy of Notes - 12-24-15

If Katie was actually a king sized bed with comfy sheets and lots of pillows I would sleep on her for sure. 

To Mel: I think it's okay for some one to give their friends special attention, besides, she already knows I like her. I know I still really like her too... And she is still very special to me so I find it positive and helpful for our friendship. If I just ignore her I will look bad, and probably a little bit irritated... I don't want that. Comfortable silences can be golden, but not when it's not really necessary. I looked up the word "Yup" I am a little worried now.

Unblock FB out of spite 4KT
I feel that were missing out on each other lives, we don't have much to converse about. It's like a portal to your life. Every time I look at Facebook and see you not there, I am reminded why... I'd rather not go back to those thoughts. It won't solve everything. From the "Yup" I take it you're still upset about the stuff I posted. I feel we're friends enough I real life after spending time and causal conversation together. This is not my world, my life doesn't depend on it, but it could help at least a little. Opposites attract! We have more in common than you think!
Baby steps:ask for conversation time
Open up to the topic
See how she feels, conclude. I am getting mixed signals that seem to change every time we're together.

Positivity: Haven't been checking for the unblock, sometimes I forget about Facebook altogether. I barely look from my second profile, my OCD has gone way down, which is good. We seem to be good friends, she's responding to my smirky comical lines. She even sang based on song lyrics she picked on from our conversation in the car back from merry mead farm. She like it at the end of the table as well.

Pop Quiz: What Whole Number comes between 142 and 144? ;-)

From her not wanted to block people's view Sunday, to being blocked in Tuesday night, that makes #2

She does not like her job. She misses it after a few days. She Isn't certified, students need help. She needs to learn to be the light in their world. She lights up any room she walks into with just a smile. This is a new experience for her. She'd like to go back to having a class of her own and teaching them. If she can handle special ed kids, she can manage with adults like me. Ian is headed to the Navy in March.


Can we just put our genders and just chat? She mentioned something about having all bad dates. I am getting mixed signals over here. I want to be sure. 

We both ordered the same food at grub burger. Last ones to leave. Both thought of up when we saw the Balloons in TWD. We sat together this week, Andrew and Shannon to the couch. Steve became a new committee member.

Did you know I studied Geology? 
I can tell that you rock ;-)

She mentioned she as also addicted to her phone and Facebook just like me. I may suggest for her to put her phone down and be happy living in the moment. Life passes you by when you're scrolling. Noticing transitions from couches to chairs. Next to me this week. Apparently, she really likes "Hello" by Adele. As she was singing when she came in. Her Nose has been itching a lot. We need to life / lift each other up. Be compassionate to one another.

This Rumor that has been going around just tore our relationship apart. I've had issues, she's had em too. They're only circling around us for some reason. Like a trend. Everyone else seems to be fine. I'm working where God is working on all this, it doesn't seem like his will to have Satanic things cutting away at what friendship connection we have left, if any. I am in deep shit. Don't want to encounter another Jenny Stark dilemma.

Tim, you and I talk about Katie all the Time... What makes us different? If we're going to talk about her, I'm sure she'd like to know what people are saying. One way or another, we shall communicate our thoughts and feelings. Things should subside after some more time. I want to talk soul to soul and face to face so it's more intimate and genuine. Talking over text and chasing down conversations with her is obsolete and inefficient. She probably has a few things to ask after she assumed what she did. I'm hoping we can get our feelings flushed out and go back to being stable. I'm sure she wants that too, right? No more tension or drama. Just friends. If we're going to be talking about her for the fourth time, then this is gonna be some serious shit. She should be there, since she's in the nucleus and heavily involved. Sometimes, the best way to resolve a conflict is by hugging it out, I've seen it on TV and IRL.

Copy of Text Messages

Tim + I Chat
Saturday, December 19, 2015
5:31 PM

Dec 15th 15:10
Just got done work. Let's chat.
Dec 15th 15:24
Call when you can. Thanks
Dec 15th 16:33
The only way to get over your fear and discomfort is to face it head on.
Dec 15th 16:39
I want good for you and I'm praying for you. Please, Danny, consider the contributions you've made to this situation, so that you can grow as a person. That is more important than giving advice right now, and it's much harder. Also, your advice is for you, so take it. I think that you are afraid to admit that you've done things wrong, and therefore you can't face it. Start by facing your fears, and we will go from there,
Dec 15th 16:44
You'll just be prolonging that. I'm in a bad mood and my night is over. Soon to be depression among other things. I sure hope it's worth her friendship by not coming. My Anxiety is Flaring up right now I can stay still, eat, or do anything. My world is lost in texts in my phone. Thanks a lot.
Dec 15th 16:52
Alex was just as involved as I was, are you telling him not to come as well? This isn't really fair.
Dec 15th 17:07
Things would have been just fine if you wouldn't have brought this stupid stuff up again. Not that I don't care. When something bothers me, it lingers for a while and psychologically I can't help it. If I end up in a worse place God knows who is really at fault here. I had a really nice white elephant Gift too. All my anticipation and excitement has been chucked in a non recyclable Dumpsters. Crushed, and broken. All because of those little words of what I may or may have not said. Especially when you never got Alex's side of the story, you're going off what julz said and that's not logically correct. Alex will tell you the same thing, you didn't put too much effort into this, but I did, still without any answers. You expect me to be able to think after hours of work and try to remember what went on last Tuesday night? My memory is pretty damn good, and I've told you everything. I'm tired and would rather not think about it. My head is on straight and my mind is right, but you see it differently, and you just don't understand. That's just not right. 45 mins on the phone have done nothing but made us both upset and angry at each other. Like I said, this was unnecessary... I am regretting returning your phone call now, but I'm hoping my sacrifice is worth it in the future.
Dec 15th 17:11
Pretty sure you would have said the same thing anyway.
Dec 15th 17:12
Danny, I've never heard you admit blame for anything. Only cast it on others. If you hadn't acted the way you did, I wouldn't have asked you not to come. I do hope that you consider how you could have responded honestly and lovingly in this situation. I care about you and I look forward to talking to you about it more. For now, I'm turning my phone on vibrate.@
Dec 15th 17:18
Oy vey. Txt me later.
Dec 15th 19:50
Went for a nice wall at the Mall. Met a nice young Israeli lady at the de ja vu stand. Not to be my GF, but it was nice. I'm feeling less irritated at the moment.
Dec 15th 23:50
FYI I can't sleep. Thanks.

(*Sarcasm*)
I could sleep very easily, but I'm up all night studying for an exam.
Dec 15th 23:53
Dude, you can be angry and malaggressive, and you can blame me for stuff, but would I have spent 45 mins on the phone with you if I didn't care about you?
Dec 16th 00:22
Only to tell me I'm lying and that I was the only one that casted evil on my friend, who might as well be an acquaintance for what it's worth. Telling me I'm bad and Pre Emptivly towing me out of the biggest event that we do during the entire year. Luckily, I found something else to do with two Israeli strangers (They Worked at one of the Booths) and apparently most of the Mall was open till 11:00, so I was kinda occupied, but it's not what I really wanted to do. I can only walk around there so many times before I get sick of it.

On a positive note, aside from Saladworks another company is going to start training me at a place that transports medical supplies, plus they supposedly give out free iPhones to employees so I'm looking up to that and $15 an Hour. It's an on call job so I work whenever I get called I guess.

I talked to Josh for about an Hour on the Phone. He said I did the right thing by not going so Katie wouldn't be affected by it. Apparently, she was more quiet than normal I heard. I asked josh how she was doing. She hasn't been "Normal" since pre Rich Dating times. The Shiz changed in her life, and the Shiz got shoveled into my bottomless pit. It's filed with a bunch of (matches with pit).

On another note, I used 50% of my Phone's battery, which is a ton for me considering I barely use my phone. We should talk more asap.
or if you really feel like it, we can have another lunch talk together, they usually go well. We can talk about all my shit. Let's get down to business I don't have time to play around what is this, must be a circus in town....

That is all. Went on a rant.

Study hard Wesminster Bro!

My phone is charging if you'd like to txt back... for now.
Dec 16th 00:26
Well, I'm bummed that you think I spent 45 mins on the phone with you to tell you you were lying. I could've done that in 3 minutes and saved us both,the trouble. We will plan a lunch tho
Dec 16th 00:33
Let's talk while my rage and vendetta for you are gone. Probably by Sunrise... I want Katie to come too... eventually. Not to lunch but more formally to get my unspoken words and feelings out (once it is safe of course, with your blessings) Just don't create any more beef. You and I have a bomb diggity friendship, ever since the first crossroads I attended at the church where I sat next to you and borrowed your Bibliotecha (Bible) remember that? Let's not ruin what we have just because my relationship with Katie is as good as ruined, and if not, our beef is out there, and it's just cooking with tension, and sizzling like a juicy steak, except it smells like doo doo, and doo doo reeks! 😷
Dec 16th 00:35
You won't lose Katie's friendship, but you have the group lose mine? Very nice of you. Verrrrry Niiiiiice.
Dec 16th 00:38
Danny, the group doesn't want to lose your friendship, and I don't want you to no longer be a part of the group.
Dec 16th 00:40
But we should stop talking for the night. You talking about having rage and a vendetta against me probably won't help, and continuing to blame me for this situation won’t help either. We are going to have to continue this conversation, but it doesn't look like we can do that right now.
I sincerely hope you get some sleep.
Dec 16th 00:42
You clealy said don't come. You threatened to call the cops. That's not exactly loving your enemies or being forgiving. Basically, what I got what "**** off" you creep on girls and have issues with him, we don't want your kind here, and your kindness doesn't matter" even if you felt like an asset, after three years of coming we are finally giving you Das Boot and it's not filled with beer, but with a Steel Toe and a heavy healthy kick from Ronaldo... ouch!
Dec 16th 00:46
Because Katie has issues with you, (as if she doesn't have issues with others in the group) *Cough Cough* you are no longer welcome due to someone starting something and breaking both of your hearts tearing us apart. Tearing up my heart like N Sync. Like anyone else got punished for being in a relationship or love affair with her publicly... no? Just me? I thought so.
Dec 16th 00:48
Dude, we really shouldn't talk about this right now.
I don't thing you really understand, and honestly, you're still seemingly really angry and it's almost 3, so I don't thing you will start understanding where I'm coming from tonight.
Dec 16th 00:50
But you are welcome in the group. When you came to us 3 years ago and there were issues with your last in thrive, I never turned you away. I asked you not to come tonight, but that doesn't mean I'm turning you away from the group
Dec 16th 00:51
But the more things you say in your anger, the more things that we will have to talk about later. So let's cut it, so that nobody says anything else hurtful. Ok?@
Dec 16th 00:53
82% I have time.

Could this have been avoided? Yesssssir! I wish I wouldn't have wasted my time and caused myself so much Damm distress. You've irked my inner Cranium to go to that dark Satanistic place. Here I am. Ready to go. Put em up homie. (Okay those are lyrics) 🙍😝😛
Dec 16th 01:00
This fucking shit keeps me up at night. I will try to go to bed though. If I could rap like Eminem right now, I would, his anger is flowing though my vains from the Marshall Mathers LP. Remember how I mentioned things linger for a while? Yep. This shit is lingering. It's all I can really think about right now. I could get a concussion right now like ben and me my head would still be one tracked to angrytownville. Cause we need a little controversy, cause it feels so empty without me. 😔😵
Dec 16th 01:04
The Melatonin ain't helpin this one. I'm still wide awake. I should probably turn off my lights and give my pillow some head if you know what I mean 😉

Good Night.
Dec 16th 01:06
Good night
Dec 16th 01:11
✌Peace✌✊👊👊✊👈👌
Dec 16th 14:36
I can't talk today buddy, I have two finals and a paper due by Friday
No earlier SMS


Josh + I Chat
Saturday, December 19, 2015
5:31 PM

Dec 11th 22:05
Josh what are you doing wake at this Hour?
Dec 11th 22:06
Wishing everyone a merry christmas.
You?
Charging my Phone... lol
Christmas isn't for another week or so...
I miss you bro. Come tomorrow?
You gonna be there?
Dec 11th 22:09
Yeppers. Unless something or someone kills me first. I can fill you in about that. Spoiler alert someone is spreading rumors that Katie and I are dating. She is very uncomfortably pissed off and upset. So is Mike.
Looking forward to seeing you there.
I will be there.
Why would anybody spread rumors about such things?
Who is Mike?
Nobody seems to know what's going on or where it came from but I've been researching and doing detective work the past few days since I got the angry texts.
Oh, I remember him! :)
Mike Simmons?
Dec 11th 22:13
Any conclusions? I haven't said anything to anyone FYI. Yes, now I remember mike. Cool guy.
Dec 11th 22:14
Neither Tim, Rich, Steve, Alex, Julz, Mike, or myself have any details as of now. But it came from Katie and Mike orginally as if one of them had a motive for sabotage.
Nope, not yet.
Still under my mind.
Under my mind? What meanest thou?
It's not on my mind, it's in my subconscious.
Dec 11th 22:17
It's not killing me, but it's there.
Sorry bud, i'm just not clear.. What is subconscious? The rumor? How could it be subconscious if you've been doing detective work the past few days?
I've been distracted with hours at saladworks. As soon as I leave, I get back on the case.
Dec 11th 22:20
Best advice, let it go. Rumors only last when people care about them.
And find another girl!! You're awesome! So what if she's not into you! It's a mighty big pond, fishy friend. :)
That's what everyone else said when I notified them of this issue. I'm gonna sleep it off though. It's not as bad as the last time I went manic over Katie.
And I'm looking! Mel doesn't want to date me either.
Dec 11th 22:24
I'm hoping someone else that I am interested comes along and we can do couple activities together.
Maybe try outside of Crossroads. It's more of a friendship collective then a dating pool. Have you tried online dating?
Everything costs money
Online dating is pointless
Why?
Because it doesn't work for me.
Have you tried a site for dating and not just hookups?
None of the websites.
Been around the block
What is online dating in your mind then?
Pointless Money Stealing Bullshit. False hope in finding a relationship.
One way traffic to nowhere
Some of my closest friends have found thier significant others online. It's all about HOW you use it, really.
Not when you don't have money to throw away on it :-/
The ones that cost money are the ones with people who are really serious about wanting more then just physical intimacy.
Agh
I see
!!!
Dec 11th 22:33
If I were you, I'd think about what I want really hard, then write out a battle plan. That always helps me.
I know what I want.

Have you read my Blog?
(Sarcasm)
Dec 11th 22:36
I have, but i dint see a PLAN, just feelings, which is a good starting spot, but nit mych good all alone, Like, if you want to date someone, you need money to
spend on dates, to do that you need a higher paying job, to get that you need resume, to write that you need to set time aside and maybe call in somebody to
proofread.
Dec 11th 22:40
Getting there.
Attaboy.
Need to upgrade to full time so I have funding and more Credentials.
How you gonna get to full time?
Dec 11th 22:44
The longer I work there, the more hours. Plus I have a delivery job on the side and another possible IT position in the works.
Can you say "Kaching!"?
Sweet!!
Dec 13th 14:32
Did you see the "Game?" Eagles won two weeks in a row!
Dec 14th 17:20
Crazy right?
Dec 14th 17:22
Oh yes!
Dec 15th 16:46
My Hoilday Spirit is crushed :-/
Dec 15th 21:05
Why is that?
Dec 15th 21:06
I didn't get to join you guys due to Katie issues.
What happened?
Dec 15th 21:08
Long irritable conversation with Tim.
What did he say, if you don't mind me asking?
Dec 15th 21:15
He told me I was lying to him when he asked about what happened last Tuesday night dealing with Katie. Alex and I still don't know what's going on but I know both of us are hurt in some sort of way we are both victims of this. I didn't want to admit it was my fault and I really didn't get a chance to tell her or anyone I was sorry about what happened. I would have done that tonight but after our phone chat he insisted me not attend for Katie's Sake and her comfort because she was still subconsciously dwelling on what she read in her txt. Julz probably had a lot to claim with all this but... Tim said it would make our relationship better if I take a break and not come... and I didn't. I hope it helps.
Dec 15th 21:16
Were you telling the truth?
You're my friend either way.
I was telling him what I knew but my story wasn't adding up to what others said. Like my mind went A.D.D and kept on changing.
I'm confused.
I'll talk to you later. With a new friend.
Ok. :)
Dec 15th 22:26
Now I remember! Her name was Galit. She is from Tel Aviv. I should have taken a Selfie but she probably wouldn't have been so in to it.



Steve + I Chat
Saturday, December 19, 2015
5:34 PM

Nov 28th 10:23
Did you hear what I said out loud when I left your place?
no i didn't
I said I love you
Danny, you can't say stuff like that, man. i know how you feel, but you need to be a friend.
Not a big deal out of context
Nov 28th 10:26
doesn't matter, it's based on your intent.
It's tough dealing with myself sometimes. That's all. I am still waking up atm.
Nov 28th 10:28
I'm pretty sure my intentions have been pretty darn clear. But it's whatever. I've kicked back.
Nov 28th 10:32
Danny, you are the one in control of your intentions. you need to reign it in. she's not interested. move on.
Nov 28th 10:33
Time can change things.

But I'm mostly done, there are parts inside me that just won't quit...
Nov 28th 10:36
sure, but it's been just over a month. that's not a lot of time. and time doesn't change things. people change. and since we had our conversation a month ago, i don't see either of you having changed.
I'm not the only one who wants to date her. There are others. I just like being vocal about it.
yes, there is. and you've already gotten your answer from her directly. leave it alone.
Nov 28th 10:39
We're doing a little bit better for sure. We talk and communicate freely sometimes. As for that, the update I would like hasn't come up in conversation so I'm not 100% sure of how she feels. At least we're stable and cam handle being in the same room together for the whole hanging out experience. Some days yes, other days, not so much. That's just how life is with emotions and stuff.
Nov 28th 10:42
dude, you need to talk more plainly. what do you mean the "update you would like"?
Nov 28th 10:47
As far as she and I go I realize and understand that door is close. No mention of it had been expressed since so that's coolio. And update would be helpful in confirming how she genuinely feels, but it's not my lifeblood to know. Worrying about things that don't help are irrelevant and mostly a waste of time but it would be nice if I genuinely knew. Deep, healthy conversations can either be good, or detrimental to our friendship due to overexposing and being too honest about myself.
Nov 28th 10:48
I would look myself, but unfortunately I cannot use Facebook as a resource from either profile.
Nov 28th 10:49
good, i'm glad you realize that door's closed. but that means not saying things like you did last night. you need to be OK with the friendship where it stands, my man. that's what it looks like to move on.
Nov 28th 10:54
I told her that her face was too pretty to sit on.
If I said anything else, I don't really remember.
yea, that's one of the weirdest compliments i've ever heard. definitely don't say that again.
But it is though.
it is what?
I stopped there. Good move.
Her Face is pretty
yea, it is. you can say that, but realize you are pushing the line on what's ok to say in a friendship.
Women love compliments
Along with puppies, babies, and chocolates.
yes, they do. but, if she knows you want more in the relationship, it can come across as too much and too forward.
... that's all I meant.
Nov 28th 10:59
i understand that's what you meant. but remember, not everyone perceives the same relationships or social aspects the same way you do. i'm telling you, where you are at with trying to get past katie, it's not OK for you to say those things.
I didn't detect any grimace on her face.
Nov 28th 11:03
girls are strange my friend -- sometimes they don't always voice what they're feeling. i'm telling you from experience; a good amount of experience.
Nov 28th 11:05
I'm sure she'll tell somebody if she was feeling uncomfortable. Mel and I have been chatting back and forth and she hasn't heard anything. Hopefully, she isn't holding on to a grudge internally. I am usually not to concerned about it.
Nov 28th 11:06
my guess is you probably don't hear the whole story. girls have confidants for a reason -- so that private feelings stay private. sorry, buddy. like i said, more experience on this end.
Nov 28th 11:08
Yeaaah could be. Sometimes, I wanna ask, but not pry into her personal feels. I end up in silence.
Nov 28th 11:10
and when the time is right to ask, you'll know it. it'll come a lot easier than right now.
Trust me. I am still waiting for that time to present itself properly.
Nov 28th 11:13
As long as it takes, if at all.
yea, don't make that the focus though. it'll eat you up if you do. like i said, you have to move on. when the time comes, you'll take notice. believe me.
Nov 28th 11:19
Oh, I know!
I promise I'm not dwelling on this, unless it's right in my face / line of sight. If something is eating me up... PEOPLE WILL KNOW.
Nov 28th 11:36
With comments like last night, you are dwelling on this. Let's call a spade, a spade.
A Spade.. like in cards? Something Sharp?
Or more like it is what it is
Nov 28th 11:39
Like being stabbed in the back
You know. It is what it is. Common saying.
No one stabbed you in the back.
I've never had that said to me
Nov 28th 11:41
It's just like the word "Yup!" Which I still have no idea to decipher what she meant when she said that weeks ago after exiting Shannon's Car in the Church Parking.
Nov 28th 11:43
Not an excuse. Look it up on the Internet, then. Danny, you are the one in control of what you dwell on. You need to get past it.
Nov 28th 11:44
I keep hitting walls :-/
Walls that you build. Tear them down.
Dec 10th 15:35
Is the Posse doing anything tonight Steve?
Dec 10th 15:37
Nothing tonight Danny
Are you busy? I could kinda use a friend with a friendly face at the moment.
Yea, tonight is tutoring.
Ohhhh. Right!
Dec 10th 15:42
Long story short there's a rumor or two going around about Katie and I. It's stressing me out. I've spoken with Tim, Mike, Ricky, Julz, and Alex... BT still no answers from Katie telling me who started this and how it started. Ugh.😧
Dec 10th 15:43
And that would be?
Dec 10th 15:46
Mike claims he got a few txts that her and I are apparently dating, clealy which we are not. She is really upset. If I knew how to fix this situation, I would. I'm branching out and doing detective work as I can. Nothing solid yet. I am also upset. I don't want this, it'd not what I asked for, especially with the holiday season being here and all. This sucks.
Dec 10th 15:47
I'm hoping I won't lose my footing and stability again. So far I've still got it, and I can sleep at night without anxiety or sleep meds helping me out.
Dec 10th 16:09
First of all, Rich, Tim, and Mike have never thought you and Katie were dating. They know there's a situation to be cautious about. We all are protective of Katie as though she's a sister and she's made it pretty clear that she needs space right now.
Dec 10th 16:14
I haven't said a single thing to her... so this whole thing couldn't have come from me. It's just a misunderstanding someone took the wrong way. I have been conciously concious about her space and not talking to much. It's been working out wonderfully for both of us. Then someone sent an few txts Sabotaging our friendly relationship yet again. Causing my emotions to flush out.
Dec 10th 16:15
How did you hear about the texts and that she's upset if you haven't talked with her?
Dec 10th 16:17
Yesterday when I was at work a txt was sent from her to Mike and to me separately. I'll forward it to you.
Dec 10th 16:19
Note: I wasn't home / online / on my phone since Tuesday night. This came as a shock to me.
Dec 13th 14:37
Anything going on after YG?
Dec 13th 15:43
Nope
Dec 15th 16:28
Have yourself a good ol time tonight! I'll miss you guys!
Dec 15th 20:30
Hey Danny, a few of us are meeting at mcgerks now if you'd like to join.
Who is all there?
Dec 15th 20:32
How was the Christmas Party?
Dec 15th 20:33
Not sure. It was fun.
I can't come if Katie is there. Tim's Rule.
She isn't which is why I texted you.
Dec 15th 20:36
I'm at the Mall. Apparently, it's open till 11? Hanging out with a nice Israeli Lady at the De ja vu stand. She works here. I am happy... er than ealier.

So Tim told you too eh?
Dec 15th 20:38
Tim asked me to text you if Katie wasn't going to be there. It wasn't hard to figure out given the current situation.
Dec 15th 20:40
I wasn't exactly myself over the Phone. We talked 45 long angry frustrated minutes. We didn't get very much from it except for anger, frustration, and negative emotions. It was brutal. We're going to talk more later though.
Dec 15th 20:41
Txt me when you're in a place where you can txt. But for now, enjoy yourself.



Alex + I Chat
Saturday, December 19, 2015
5:37 PM

Nov 25th 20:15
Hey I have a question for you.
Nov 25th 20:19
Shoot.
Is Katie dating anyone?
Are you in a place yu can talk on the phone? This is gonna require more than a text.
Yea ill call you in a sex
Nov 25th 20:32
I'll tell you everything about her. I am kinda ocd with her life and stuff. I love to talk about her. She says we're not compatible but I'm calling BS on Tha because we do similar things and have similar thoughts and stuff... and then the creepiness comes out and scares everyone away. I wrote 4 long Blogs. They're public at dannye60.blogspot.com . You can read into my manic brain at that time.

Enjoy.
Let me know how it goes.
Nov 25th 20:34
I go deep when I like a girl.

Don't judge me :-P
Nov 25th 20:44
Ricky got back with Julz and Aaron is with Bedge now. Katie still really noticeably likes Aaron.

TTYL
Nov 25th 21:53
So you don't think I should do it cuz of Aaron?
Nov 25th 21:56
Sorry... I was in the shower... I think her mind is pretty much still set on him being the only disreable male in the group. No other signs are visible. I suggest praying about it beforehand. But if you need a wingman, I'll be here.
Nov 25th 22:03
I'll be here in case you'd like to get to know her better and have me teach you the ways :-P
Nov 26th 10:22
Thanks bud. I might chicken out and not ask her lol
Nov 26th 10:26
I wasn't trying to scare you away from asking. I was in the same debating confrontational contemplative position myself, so I know how it feels. :-/
Nov 26th 11:17
Lol yea I message her and she never said anything so I'll take that as a hint lol
Nov 26th 11:22
If she doesn't respond right away it could be a sign... does she have your # too? She is usually at work, but not today. It's up in the Air for Thanksgiving... she may respond eventually but meh. This is why in person face to face is important to do. Which is why we chatted on the phone yesterday. Don't make any assumptions yet. But maybe... I dunno. Give it some time on a non holiday day... as JP says in angels in the outfield "it could happen'"
Nov 26th 11:23
Lol yea. I just said happy Thanksgiving so nothing that important. Didn't say anything important. But your right. I'm waiten cuz it could happen lol
That's the Spirit!

Make that fantasy a reality!
Nov 26th 12:30
Lol yea. But in person idk how to bring those things up. I ain't good with those things.
Nov 26th 13:38
Neither am I. Took a whole Lotta time! lol
Nov 26th 14:02
...Nobody's perfect!
Nov 26th 18:39
Yea I'm totally not perfect
Everyone is uniquely imperfect :-P
Nov 28th 20:19
I guess she doesn't talk about me at all huh? . Lol but yea I have a walking dead addiction.
Nov 28th 20:21
Who? Katie?

A group of us meet at Steve's every Sunday to watch it together. He lived across the street from the Willow Grove Mall. You could come join us if you're around.
Nov 28th 20:24
Yes Katie. I'm kinda curious. And I need to watch last week's episode first. But I'm so in for next Sunday
Nov 28th 20:26
I think she pretty much keeps to herself, nothing to be worried about. I know what I know, it's a lot, but not everything. Hang out with us more, that may change. Give her something to go on when you chat. You'll be alright.
Nov 28th 20:28
Honestly I have no balls when it Comes to talking to girls I like. Sounds like your so much better at that then me lol
Def am planning on hanging with you guys as much as I can
Nov 28th 20:30
Nooooooo. I have the Aspies and tend to be socially awkward and mis ubderstood, so it's not that easy for me either. I don't think it's really easy for any guy. Girls like and appreciate the confidence though. She told me after my denial. Put me down easy.
Nov 28th 20:32
But the two of us have our similaries in taste and career goals. We're both guys so we can have Bro talks whenever. Which is good.
Nov 28th 20:34
Yea I feel it's kinda weird asking her so soon. Prob have her see me in groups more often to understand me more
Nov 28th 20:35
I wanted to suggest that, but I didn't want to discourage or hold you back. I think I said that ealier *Scrolls up*
That's where I got my idea lol
From me?
Nov 28th 20:52
Where did you get this idea again?
Yea of waiting a while. I was just thinking about her on Wednesday. So I was high up on her
Nov 28th 20:55
You get Katie Elated too? That should tone down after a while. I still feel a rush of energy and happiness when we're together. I actually Crack a genuine smile too. It feels glorious.
Nov 28th 20:58
Except I struggle with OCD, you probably don't. Most of the time I can't help it. But I've got parts of it on lockdown. So I am semi to almost normal.
Nov 28th 21:04
Lol no is normal. The only thing that is normal is a setting on the washer machine.
Nov 28th 21:12
...And Drier
Dec 5th 14:13
Yea she is just having a rough few weeks. And in I on the walking dead
Andy will be there to greet you.
Plus Katie... haha
That's a plus :)
For both of us 😍😙
I also like the show.
Hey Alex got a few minutes to chat?
Dec 9th 20:56
Sure what's up bud
Dec 9th 21:07
I turned my phone on, checked my messages. I got two angry txts from Mike and Katie saying someone (me) was speaking rumors that Katie and I were apparently Dating. Clealy, we're not, and we never have. Right now I'm trying to figure out how this thing originated and where it could have come from. She is really posses off right now and I wanted to know who these txts Mike got are coming from because he won't tell me and he said from mutiple people, and from what I have so far it's mainly from last night.
Dec 9th 21:34
Which one is Mike again?
Dec 9th 21:36
Mike Simmons. Short Guido Guy.
Dec 9th 21:40
Mike is the guy hugging me in my cover photo.
Dec 10th 09:41
Yea well im not sure what's going on. Kinda not really in this.
Dec 10th 09:58
Same.
I am still trying to find out what's going on... so far I only got advice from everyone except Katie.
Dec 10th 16:04
It's getting super stressed out and depressed now. My inner Cranium is melting 😥
Dec 10th 16:13
What you mean?
Dec 10th 16:15
Basically,
I'm a mess right now.
Dec 10th 16:24
Why what's up,?
Stupid stuff from before.
Ohhh yea?
It lingers bro. Hardcore.
If you want to talk about it let me know
We're making Gingerbread Houses at Steve's
Dec 11th 20:54
Oh yea. Didnt know I was invited lol
Everyone connected with Steve on and off Facebook is welcome to come.
Dec 11th 21:27
Oh awesome!
See you there?
Yea sure!
Woot! #CreativeBuilding!
Dec 13th 14:36
Tim says I shouldn't come tonight. Hoping at least you have fun at the Christmas Party.
Dec 15th 16:29
Wow did it get that bad?
Tim and I talked for 45 mins. He thought I was lying to him. For Katie's Sake, he told me not to come.
Dec 15th 16:51
See I don't even know what went wrong
He didn't tell you not to come did he?
Dec 15th 16:53
No?
Dec 15th 16:55
Humph! 😤
Does that make any sense to you? 😡
Dec 15th 17:05
I don't know the situation.
Dec 15th 17:09
We mentioned Katie Breifly. Shit hit the fan and it blew up all over me. Tim says I'm not the victim, but she is. But we're both victims here, he just doesn't realize it yet.
Dec 15th 17:11
I think you both got hurt. But again I'm sure what people are saying
If I only knew, I'd understand.
Dec 15th 19:24



Julz + I Chat
Saturday, December 19, 2015
5:38 PM

Dec 15th 16:24
Welp, I am no longer going to be able to attend the Christmas Party :-(
Dec 15th 16:26
Who's this?
Danny from CR
Tin and I just talked for 45 mins over the phone.
About stuff from last Wednesday.
Dec 15th 16:39
I am sorry to hear that Danny
Dec 15th 16:45
Yeah. It sucks.
I think you might know why.
Dec 15th 16:54
Whatever went on between you, myself, Tim and everyone else caused us all a big messy ruckus.
Dec 15th 17:36
Danny I think u just didn't listen to guidance from good ppl who were trying to help u and u crossed the line 1 to many times. I wish it weren't so, and I am sorry that I has to be this way now :-(. I think the best thing you can do now is just learn from that experience and handle things differently next time
Dec 15th 17:39
They told me to leave it along, not to give it attention, or dwell on it, that's what I did. Had I known it would go kaboom in my face, I wouldn't have said anything. We were both hurt in this. Alex was there too, he and I still don't know what's going on, but he's probably there with everyone else right now.
Dec 15th 17:41
I think u know exactly what's going on Danny.
There is no point denying that.
Like I said, learn from it and try and do things differently next time
I don't know what was said to him. But it's best not to talk after a long shift of nothing but salads at work, trying to rattle my brain and remember things logically, and convey them logically as well.



09/12/2015 07:51
Julianna Lynne
Hey Danny!
I just wanted to tell u that I was very surprised about the way u were talking about Katie last night! Speaking from a girls perspective, I thought it was inappropriate to talk about her as if the 2 of u had something going on between u. Like a previous relationship or something. I don't think Katie would have liked it if she knew you were talking like that. I think it would push her away from wanting to be a friend to u. U might do more harm then good. I am not trying to put myself in the middle of this, I just thought it might be helpful to u to hear a girls perspective.
Hope ur having a good day! Julz



09/12/2015 07:52
Daniel Daniel
Good... Morning!
Naaaa, we both just really like her.



09/12/2015 07:57
Daniel Daniel
Nothing is going on despite being blocked on FB, we are still friendly friends. We can comfortably communicate and handle being in the same room, at least as far as I know. I've been filling Alex in on Katie101 and prevented possible drama from another guy throwing himself at her in her ways of life. In a way, I helped. Alex understood.



09/12/2015 08:01
Julianna Lynne
Oh ok. Well I don't think it's really yr place to give him Katie101. I'd let him get to know her for himself and let Katie make her own decision to date or not to date him. Also I would leave her alone if she has blocked u on fb because I think that's a clear message that she wants u to settle down and not keep trying to talk to her about dating. That's just my opinion as another female. I hope it's helpful



09/12/2015 08:10
Daniel Daniel
He came to me and asked if she was dating anyone. I had to fill him in over the phone. He also thinks he should wait and get to know her better, but he's known to give it time, and more after I told him about her status and relationships with crossroads peeps on the brief brief. He came to me right way, I'm kinda like his Wingman. A while back I had a group of friends I went to before you and Rich hooker back up... It included Josh as my wingman, two long conversations over lunch wit Tim Gorbey, back and forth txt wig Steve Yards and Mike, and a little Facebook messaging from myself to Ricky. I really branched out. During that time, I journaled out 4 novels of which everyone listed has seen... And I went deep. My head was in a bad dark miserable hell of a place right next to my broken heart.



09/12/2015 08:13
Daniel Daniel
And mouth has been shut on bringing up anything about dating / boys. We only talk around others, or where its innocent and casual, as I really watch every single word we type / chat with. It hasn't been nothing me much either, so that's a plus.



09/12/2015 08:17
Julianna Lynne
I am very sorry to hear that u were going through all that Danny! But it's good that u are reaching out to the guys! I think they could really help u with social situations and how to relate with ppl and girls! Who knows maybe with a little help from them 1 day u will be able to date a girl as awesome as Katie! I'd really listen to advice that they give u because they know how to relate with girls and how to treat them so it'll really help u out if u decide to be open to it!



09/12/2015 08:25
Daniel Daniel
Forgot to mention... Mel and I have been txting about Katie too. But she's pretty much done with that. Mainly due to her being the only one who answers her phone messages.
I am still waiting for Ms. Right to come along... A nice Jewish Lady at that (as you may know I'm Jewish) but really the supply of attractive women around here that I'm interested in are very sparse... Either that or they're taken and married with other awesome partners... It makes things complicated when I look around the room and all I see are couples, and few single peeps... I'm sure you know how that feels? I'm here to listen and gather advice that I don't already know. Every single thing has helped so far, I hope o can keep the flow going.



09/12/2015 08:31
Daniel Daniel
She mentioned we weren't compatible, and she doesn't feel the same way. It was nothing personal on her end, she just didn't want to hook up with any more gentlemen from crossroads. I waited weeks in the wings watching Katie and Rich be flirty and doing stuff together. I went for it with Josh's blessing, and I got hit with recoil pretty badly. It still hurts, but at least I'm back to "Stable" now... Which is a good thing.



09/12/2015 08:42
Julianna Lynne
Yea if I were u based on her actions I would move on to other fish. I'd completely stop trying with her and be prepared if she does start seeing someone else. Because who knows, maybe she would like Alex! She should at least have the chance to make that decision herself without anyone getting in the way of that. I think u talking to him about her isn't a good thing. If he asks u things u should probably just tell him yr not the right person to answer his questions. It's hard being single but I'd say try and be content and patient and when another option comes along, before making any moves, talk to the guys and ask how to go about it in the best way.



09/12/2015 08:51
Daniel Daniel
We're just friends now. That's all. I think I'm a great person to answer Alex's inquiry, I tell it like it is in as many details as possible. He could have asked anyone else, be he came and connected with me. We're not gossiping or spreading bad rumors, we're just Guys doing things men do... I'm sure girls do that too... I've heard, read any seen it online and offline. Nothing weird about that. Guys can get emotional too ya know. Only time will tell. I would be happy if they find love, if they're happy, I am happy. The best not two peeps I know she likes are taken (you know him) or is moving away to Texas in about 1 1/2 Months. Who knows. If anyone, I hope he comes to crossroads with us. Just like Rich did. Look where he is today smile emoticon



09/12/2015 09:02
Julianna Lynne
I just meant that I think it's her business to tell if she wants to. She may not want him knowing all this about her. But like I said that's just my advice, u don't have to listen to it. But u may cause more drama if u do keep doing what yr doing.
I hope u both find amazing ppl! I have to get back to work because the baby just woke up! Have a great day!



09/12/2015 09:14
Daniel Daniel
Don't worry, I'm being careful.
If he wants her that badly, whatever we say won't really matter and he will just do it on his own.
We've already found a group of amazing peeps
Talk to you later Julz.
Have a great day as well! kiki emoticon



09/12/2015 09:15
Julianna Lynne
Thanks!




Mike + I Chat
Saturday, December 19, 2015
5:40 PM

Dec 7th 15:39
If you have good, positive, encouraging advice, shoot it here. Remember back in the Day I was slightly suicidal? You talked me out of that mess. I thought my life was over during Jenny times... nope.
Yet you haven't learned much dude
You're still doing the same dumb shit.
Ok I am done. Later
Not exactly.
I'm just better at it.
Dec 7th 15:42
Better at Journaling too.
Dec 7th 15:44
If I dropped dead,
you'd still be at my Funeral.
Dec 9th 19:10
Are you telling people you are dating Katie?
??
Dec 9th 19:13
Sorry I was at work all day. Just turned on my phone... no, I haven't mentioned Dating Katie to anyone. That's not even on my mind anymore. If anyone is spreading rumors about me I wanna know.
Dec 9th 19:14
Seriously, why the fuck would I even do that shit. I'm creepy but I'm not that crazy.
Dec 9th 19:16
Slow down bro I know.
Dec 9th 19:32
I just heard rumors
Can you tell me who it was from?
Or what was said?
Dec 9th 20:15
I have no idea
Dec 9th 20:16
I talked to tim, ricky , and julz... but not alex or Katie yet. We're working on figuring out what's going on.
Dec 9th 21:13
Don't believe any stupid Rumors until you know they are truly true and legit.
Dec 10th 14:53
Dude don't just say they are stupid rumors. You know there is more to it.
Dec 10th 15:13
Like this isn't the first time this has happened dude
Dec 10th 15:15
Ugh.. that doesn't really matter at this point. 😒
Dec 10th 15:19
Let's move past it then
Dec 10th 15:22
All I care about right now is that she's okay. And that she understood the words I txted her. I still want to be friends. I hope she can move past it too. The Tension and awkwardness will rise if we don't talk it out. Every time we see each other. I don't want that, she doesn't want that, nobody wants to deal with that Bullshit on a day to day basis.
Knowing me for 7 years, I think you know where it take my mind to. A dark hole in the pits of hell and mental disorders.
Dec 10th 15:36
Gotta hit rock bottom before you can get back up guess?
Dec 10th 18:02
Listen man. I don't know details but you need to give her a break.
Even if it isn't true you need to give her space
Dec 13th 01:05
Always remember, other people are in worse situations than you and I. Be glad you're not in my inclimate position.

I hope she comes back...
I miss her. Especially her smile. Sounds as if she were indecisive with Dating you. She may be intelligent, but she's kinda blonde when it comes down to the wire on these things.

Safe travels mike!
Dec 15th 16:26
Welp, this guy got thrown out from the Christmas party guest list :-/
Dec 15th 16:29
What do you mean?
Dec 15th 16:32
Tim and I talked 45 mins. He told me Katie was still dwelling subconsciously about last Wednesday. For her sake, he's asked me not to come. He also thinks I wasn't telling the truth of being straight forward. He expects me to remember things from a week ago. What a guy.
Don't start bitching about him to me.
Sorry for venting. I am just very irritated right now.
You did bring this on yourself dude
I didn't intend for things to evolve and spread like they did.


Ricky + I Chat
Saturday, December 19, 2015
5:41 PM

Dec 10th 16:03
Feel like cheering me up tonight?
Dec 10th 16:11
What's up man? I can't talk on the phone at the moment
I can text though
Dec 10th 16:14
Emotions are hitting me. 😔
Dec 10th 16:43
Just could use some cheering up / Joy
Dec 10th 16:46
What's on your mind man?
She Hates me. Again.
Dec 10th 16:48
The only Lady I love
Dec 10th 16:52
I don't think Katie hates anyone including you. However she's very stressed at the moment about this whole situation. It's best at this point to let her be. When you love someone you want what's best for them. Not what's best for you but for them. She needs some time to relax and not worry about it. The best way to do that is to let her be.
Dec 10th 16:54
I want to be friends.
I would like talking it out.
Based on multiple suggestions, I should wait, give it time, let it pass, let it be, and move on.
Has she mentioned anything to you?
Dec 10th 16:56
Yes that's the best thing to do. Talking it out won't work at this point. Just let things go and move on. Above all else. Relax. Overthinking everything and getting upset will make things worse. Pray about it and relax.
Dec 10th 16:57
Okay. I shall zip my lips and cease my thumbs for her sake... we'll both probably see her Saturday.
Dec 10th 17:01
She might be there sure. Danny I look at everything in life that happens to me (good or bad) as a learning experience. Everything! If you fail at something you've found a way of how not to do something. Try and do the same. This didn't work out. It sucks being hurt. I've been there but if you use it as a way to develop yourself you can become stronger from it. Just some friendly advice that has helped me over the years
Dec 10th 17:05
I have a strong tolerance to physical and mental pain. I gained strength last time after getting over being turned down in the rain at Steve's Birthday Party. I got lost, soaking wet, and scraped up my knees on the uneven sideways trying to hustle up and deliver what I intended to do which included a card for the restaurant I worked at, hoping to take her there on a date sometime, hoping she'd feel the same way. Boy was I wrong!
Dec 10th 17:08
Delivery was smooth like Daniel Craig though. I executed myself very well... it was the night after that I crashed mentally and became physically drained as well, which sucked, leaving me to vent on Facebook statuses that weren't too specific or obvious to the outside eyes. But she was extremely generously smart, and she knew from all the posts. Which is why she blocked me in the first place... and now we're here at the crossroads again.
Dec 10th 17:11
It's not like the movies man with a girl you really care about. You have to take time.
Dec 10th 17:13
We've been rekindling, and rebuilding our friendship since then. I nearly felt like a normal friend and person in the group just like everyone else, even with all this tensions and emotions going berserk. She is the jam to my jelly.
If someone doesn't feel the same way, it sucks, but it happens. The best thing to do right now is to focus on you. Focus on being the best person you can be and above all else your walk with God. Girls in crossroads aren't looking for just great looks and such. They're looking for a guy who has a close walk with Jesus. Focus on him. Jesus said "seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you"
Dec 10th 17:15
I wrote a ton of this stuff on my blog. I hope I don't have to write #5. Dannye60.blogspot.com it's all out there for the public to read.
Dec 15th 16:26
Looks like I am no longer on the Guest List for the Christmas Party. I'll miss you guys.


Katie + I Chat
Saturday, December 19, 2015
5:42 PM

Dec 5th 11:35
Hey Katie

I think I got a txt from you.

And it's not from group txts...

I can't download it.

My Phone is probably still glitchy.

What was it?
Dec 5th 11:37
I sent a pic of the horse I ride lol
Dec 5th 11:39
Oh... cool!
Wish I could see it though. #MyPhoneMalfunction
Dec 5th 11:47
How are you doing btw?

Dec 5th 12:03
Good, and you?
Dec 5th 12:08
I've been surprisingly well.
Dec 5th 12:10
That's good
Glad to hear you're good.
Dec 5th 12:14
I say surprisingly because what usually ails me, hasn't been happening. Which is good. I had asked for lots of prayer on the side, it helped. ☺
Dec 5th 12:19
I take it Ian is off to the Navy?
Dec 5th 12:51
Not until March
Dec 5th 12:58
Few more months.
Dec 5th 13:00
He should come hang with us, we barely know him. Plus he could use some spiritual enlightenment.
Dec 5th 13:15
That's why I have everyone pray for him
Dec 5th 13:17
I remembered.
I just didn't say anything.
Dec 5th 13:18
Along with other things personal to me. Because all lives matter.
Dec 9th 19:10
I don't know why you are starting rumors about me. But I've been told you are saying things that aren't true. I don't appreciate it and it is very rude to assume something between us. I honestly at this point don't know if I can have you as a friend.
Dec 9th 19:18
Sorry, I was out working... I literally just turned on my phone right now. I haven't been home or on my phone for the entire day. I wouldn't ever start stupid rumors or gossip about us or anyone. I am not that twisted or crazy... where did you even get that idea from? You and I have had our rough patches, but we're still friends, and I'd like to keep it that way.
Dec 9th 19:19
You and Mike texted me the same thing... now I am getting concerned about where this even came from.
Dec 9th 19:29
FYI Mike and I just talked and cleared everything up.
Dec 10th 09:14
You know the Truth.
I know the Truth
More importantly, God Knows.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Who knew this would happen again? Organization of my Facebook Posts...

I didn't know when a good time to send this was, but here I go. Not sure how you will take this but... It's been a while since stuff happened... Could you possibly unblock my Facebook? Not that I am in desperate need of it, but it's nice to have. Like a moist chocolate covered cherry cheesecake. I think that's safe to say. I'll probably see you at the Rock Show. I didn't want to spend all night thinking about it there because that's not what I came to do, I also didn't want to do the "Walk you to your car at the last minute" thing. I want to do this now and take a step back. If needed, my Ears are open.

I just wanna take your time... like it says in Sam Hunt's Song. I wish you well... I wanna be able to communicate, and know we're not embarrassed about each other based on body language and what we say. I want things,to be okay, I am hoping everything is working out for you now, and for us being friends, no matter if we talk or whatever. Nobody else can see this post... For now. I want to tell you things are okay, but I just don't know how and end up turning to a petrified piece of human cement. Ugh. I'm,glad you were able to make it. I hope I wasn't making uncomfortable. I want to talk it out when the opportunity comes, I will be ready. Orange means caution and I am taking careful meticulous precautions over here. 

You can tell me if something is bothering you. We can still talk I promise I don't bite. Pretty sure were not frenemies, but still, I know it says to love your enemies and bless those who curse you somewhere in the bible. I keep intending to inquire about you unblocking my facebook, but there's something stopping me every time telling me about when I went through that phase of statuses and emotions I was in. I just appears angry and sad I wanted to know that's not how I feel. I feel fine. It's the other stuff in my life. Not having a job / income / being independent away from my parents, OCD, Aspergers, and running out of things to do. I feel like an outsider sometimes... In case you didn't notice, I switched my seat to the other side because I knew you sit there, and I sat there last week and liked it better. You didn't seem as happy as usual, your cheeks were red, you bangs were covering your eyes, and for the past two times you sat down in a place and stayed put. My flags are going up, red and white. I am god can take care of things, and work in his mysterious ways, just like the U2 Song. I think I may casually take this into my own hands yet again after thought and logic. I should add these together into my blog. She probably won't want to read all this stupid shit because it would probably make me look even worse than I am now. That is all for now.

She mentioned "I want you to like me" probably not for me. Also, she was Biting her Nails and doing the hair thing, so she may have been nervous or stressed about something besides me. She is not Jenny Stark, so I'm gonna assume she thinks differently. As soon as the words spewed out of her mouth I was like... I wonder who she is talking about. When Jules mentions meeting her own dad in heaven, I cringed a little. I don't remember the rest of it. We talked about Glory from the Book of Corinthians. End Scene.


From a friend, to a friend I thought I would check in to see how you were doing because it's been a while since we've talked and I haven't really been able to see any updates from you if you know what I am referring to. Hoping things are still running smoothly over at the school and life in general. I am not gonna be a jerk because of some drama or being blocked on Facebook. I am generally very respectful and nice. I am still the same person I was, but with alternative feelings. A Jenny once told me "Comfortable Silences can be Golden" Josh mentioned you were a very patient person, I am kinda the same way.


*** Posts about relationships, friendship, love (see the facebook page), aunty acid, the music I posted, the status updates (which I am looking for with all the other trends), pressure of not being in a relationship while I am surrounded by happy couples and married people.
Good Music and Caffeine are a wonderful medicinal therapy for days when feel like crap, (Physically, and Emotionally) when the world is consistently reminding me why I feel this way... It helps, but like time, it does not heal all wounds and scars compiling inside and out of my Body deep throughout my Soul, and super sensitive heart that is wayyyyy to big and incomprehensible for others to understand sometimes... And that sucks.
Daniel Daniel feeling worried
Emotions still lingering. Head feels like a Brick. The Great Depression may be coming back... I don't 
like it! 
Dr. Dan is taking care of himself. Gonna take some melatonin so my Body has a chance at getting sleep... I've been awake at abnormal hours the night, like Jetlag, but more of an Internal issue I've been having for some odd reason, aside from recent things, there have been things going on I can't explain without confusing people. I am hoping to experience more weird dreams tonight! Ps, I am not in any Danger to myself or others as far as consciously am aware. End of Rant.
Warm Showers, Food, Gum, Candy, Good Friends, going out, Green,Tea, and having some good ol R&R at home base has helped me out a little so far. On my way!
Daniel Daniel feeling suffocated
My Brain and Body just experienced a strong sensation of Panic and Anxiety... I'm not in control of it, but I think I'll be okay. Send Prayer!
Daniel Daniel feeling insecure
Being selectively introvert isn't so bad as long as others are judging making wrong assumptions of you.
At the end of the day, even though things didn't work out as planned, I accomplished something and WE handled it quite well. I hope that's not saying too much, but you know who you are. I am proud of myself. Getting wet and cold in the Rain was well worth my sacrifice. Aside from that my legs had an incident with the sidewalk... Danny took a Tumble. Most of my day went decently though.