I didn't know when a good time to send this was, but here I go. Not sure how you will take this but... It's been a while since stuff happened... Could you possibly unblock my Facebook? Not that I am in desperate need of it, but it's nice to have. Like a moist chocolate covered cherry cheesecake. I think that's safe to say. I'll probably see you at the Rock Show. I didn't want to spend all night thinking about it there because that's not what I came to do, I also didn't want to do the "Walk you to your car at the last minute" thing. I want to do this now and take a step back. If needed, my Ears are open.
I just wanna take your time... like it says in Sam Hunt's Song. I wish you well... I wanna be able to communicate, and know we're not embarrassed about each other based on body language and what we say. I want things,to be okay, I am hoping everything is working out for you now, and for us being friends, no matter if we talk or whatever. Nobody else can see this post... For now. I want to tell you things are okay, but I just don't know how and end up turning to a petrified piece of human cement. Ugh. I'm,glad you were able to make it. I hope I wasn't making uncomfortable. I want to talk it out when the opportunity comes, I will be ready. Orange means caution and I am taking careful meticulous precautions over here.
You can tell me if something is bothering you. We can still talk I promise I don't bite. Pretty sure were not frenemies, but still, I know it says to love your enemies and bless those who curse you somewhere in the bible. I keep intending to inquire about you unblocking my facebook, but there's something stopping me every time telling me about when I went through that phase of statuses and emotions I was in. I just appears angry and sad I wanted to know that's not how I feel. I feel fine. It's the other stuff in my life. Not having a job / income / being independent away from my parents, OCD, Aspergers, and running out of things to do. I feel like an outsider sometimes... In case you didn't notice, I switched my seat to the other side because I knew you sit there, and I sat there last week and liked it better. You didn't seem as happy as usual, your cheeks were red, you bangs were covering your eyes, and for the past two times you sat down in a place and stayed put. My flags are going up, red and white. I am god can take care of things, and work in his mysterious ways, just like the U2 Song. I think I may casually take this into my own hands yet again after thought and logic. I should add these together into my blog. She probably won't want to read all this stupid shit because it would probably make me look even worse than I am now. That is all for now.
She mentioned "I want you to like me" probably not for me. Also, she was Biting her Nails and doing the hair thing, so she may have been nervous or stressed about something besides me. She is not Jenny Stark, so I'm gonna assume she thinks differently. As soon as the words spewed out of her mouth I was like... I wonder who she is talking about. When Jules mentions meeting her own dad in heaven, I cringed a little. I don't remember the rest of it. We talked about Glory from the Book of Corinthians. End Scene.
From a friend, to a friend I thought I would check in to see how you were doing because it's been a while since we've talked and I haven't really been able to see any updates from you if you know what I am referring to. Hoping things are still running smoothly over at the school and life in general. I am not gonna be a jerk because of some drama or being blocked on Facebook. I am generally very respectful and nice. I am still the same person I was, but with alternative feelings. A Jenny once told me "Comfortable Silences can be Golden" Josh mentioned you were a very patient person, I am kinda the same way.
*** Posts about relationships, friendship, love (see the facebook page), aunty acid, the music I posted, the status updates (which I am looking for with all the other trends), pressure of not being in a relationship while I am surrounded by happy couples and married people.
Good Music and Caffeine are a wonderful medicinal therapy for days when feel like crap, (Physically, and Emotionally) when the world is consistently reminding me why I feel this way... It helps, but like time, it does not heal all wounds and scars compiling inside and out of my Body deep throughout my Soul, and super sensitive heart that is wayyyyy to big and incomprehensible for others to understand sometimes... And that sucks.
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