Dear so and so, I struggle with proverbs 6:25
(Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.)
If there is a girl I like, that I KNOW is single, and we've known each other for a long time and we get along should I tell her I like her? I don't want to tell her I like her because that would put me at risk to more drama, and relationship problems as with me and J. I don't know how she would react so I keep my emotions blanketed undercover... For weeks now. I don't know if it's the right thing to say to J but I plan to take it nice, easy, slow, and Keep it short!!!
I think she may be dating someone, but I should not make assumptions.
I need a girl like her to talk to me through my insecurities, and make me feel better, more like a worthy person.
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2 comments:
The reason you struggle, is the same reason most men struggle, we have unmet needs. Our intimacy and relationships are lacking in quality, and so we look for a romantic relatinoship to distract us from what we don't have. It's normal, but it's also dangerous. For as long as we continue to live with our needs unmet we keep a dangerous fire burning which can easily get out of hand.
In this case, I would suggest not telling her. If you relying on your friendship, don't place that friendship on a pedestal, or in jeopardy of being lost.
You are attracted to her not because you want to have a future with her, but because you appreciate the time and care she has given you. Major difference.
Also, if you are talking to a girl about insecurities you do not want to be dating that girl. Most girls want their man to lead, to be perefct, to not have any baggage, and to have all the questions yet being will to listen to them all the time. So when we are hurting, they are too.
Before jumping into a relationship that you want to last, it's best to get rid of as much baggage (insecurities) as possible.
23 For this command is a lamp,
this teaching is a light,
and correction and instruction
are the way to life,
24 keeping you from your neighbor’s wife,
from the smooth talk of a wayward woman.
25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes.
26 For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread,
but another man’s wife preys on your very life.
27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?
28 Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?
29 So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished.
30 People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.
31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,
though it costs him all the wealth of his house.
32 But a man who commits adultery has no sense;
whoever does so destroys himself.
33 Blows and disgrace are his lot,
and his shame will never be wiped away.
34 For jealousy arouses a husband’s fury,
and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.
35 He will not accept any compensation;
he will refuse a bribe, however great it is.
Proverbs 6 warns against allowing yourself to fall for women with no integrity, to lust after another man's wife.....(which, in reality, if she is not your wife, she falls under this category). Just a thought.
PS, JS is right, you dont want a woman to date to validate you. You have yet to reach out to the One who will validate you if you let Him.....women cannot meet it, only Jesus.
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