Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Extras - Boring Thoughs.
Israeli Airport Departure - The line went quicker than I though, security screening was very easy, No funny questions this time. I emptied out my water and said my goodbyes. Our staff was Ohad, Mierav, Erica, and Alicia
I ate a McDonald's spicy chicken sandwich, side of fries and a coke. I jew'd 62 Shekels from my friends. I ate with Marisa, Bree and David. I bought sanitizer and bamba with extra money.
Life is almost back to the usual now but I still feel depressed and in pain from hitting the emotional wall at the airport. Some memories of people are in my mind and they are stuck in there almost permenatly. Nothing could penetrate my brain's memory from them. I cannot be broken! I must be strong and keep it together..., it should not effect me so negatively.
I really should have taken more pics with the people I hung out with. Eventually they will upload the rest of the pics they took of us and themselves. It would be awesome if we could meet up again some day. It's realistic, NY, NJ are only a day away. We just need to find a good time and place. As for the Vanderbilt people in Tennessee and the people in Arizona, California and other places not on the same coast I probably won't ever get to see them in person again. I may facebook them once or twice but other than the few people I've been contacting I think I'm going to lose touch with everyone else.
Random fact: Me & Marissa along with part of the group quoted Borat a lot.
I ate a McDonald's spicy chicken sandwich, side of fries and a coke. I jew'd 62 Shekels from my friends. I ate with Marisa, Bree and David. I bought sanitizer and bamba with extra money.
Life is almost back to the usual now but I still feel depressed and in pain from hitting the emotional wall at the airport. Some memories of people are in my mind and they are stuck in there almost permenatly. Nothing could penetrate my brain's memory from them. I cannot be broken! I must be strong and keep it together..., it should not effect me so negatively.
I really should have taken more pics with the people I hung out with. Eventually they will upload the rest of the pics they took of us and themselves. It would be awesome if we could meet up again some day. It's realistic, NY, NJ are only a day away. We just need to find a good time and place. As for the Vanderbilt people in Tennessee and the people in Arizona, California and other places not on the same coast I probably won't ever get to see them in person again. I may facebook them once or twice but other than the few people I've been contacting I think I'm going to lose touch with everyone else.
Random fact: Me & Marissa along with part of the group quoted Borat a lot.
My Trip To Israel Part Three (Another Continuation)
That morning when we left the Marina hotel in Tel Aviv I felt like a king. I was rested and full of good Delicious food. I forget what we did here but the next thing we did on the list was "Mifgashim" after that we volunteered at a sink place somewhere near independence hall, our next stop on the list. After all that we went over to Jaffa and from there traveled south into the desert where we had an activity at the Bedouin tents. My experience with this was very hard. I was FREEZING all the time and had trouble finding our tent and seeing in the dark. I was impossible to shower because it was so cold, dirty and smelly and I would have caught hypothermia or something. I hadn't showered for three days so I smelled really nasty. At this point in the trip we had some Israeli solders join us. One half taught some self defense skills and the other taught army battle skills. They called it "Boot Camp". So we slept in tight places trying to get as much heat from the space heater inside the tent. Flashlights were going off everywhere. There were bonfires going on outside with many of the other Mayanot groups also attending the trip. We made smores and went to bed on thin mattresses without even pillows or blankets. I had to come up with an idea which was to wrap a sleeping bag into pillow form and use the other sleeping bag as a blanket. I was too unconscious to tell if I had slept or not. In the morning we rode camels. After, we had some breakfast with the other groups and then finally we got out of the cold hell zone.
We then went to Masada, the dead sea and other places headed towards Jerusalem. Once we got to our final hotel, the "Jerusalem Park Hotel" we got to sit through even more lectures like "The Gift of life" which was for donating bone marrow and "The David Project" where a big cool guy told us about terrorism on Arab TV. A third thing we did was watch a video on a solider named "Michael Levin" (There should be something from this somewhere on the internet). A few days later we visited Har Hertzel and visited many military graves. Michael's was covered in flowers and other love. He was a really special person.
Later on we traveled Jerusalem to places like Yad Vashem, the Jewish Quarter, some Jewish excavational places and the Holocaust museum which was the highlight of the day for me. The final thing we did in Jerusalem was visit Machane Yehuda (The Israeli market place in center city. My uncles have shops there. One has a cleaning supply shop and another has a clothing shop, My third uncle has a clothing shop as well but it was out of the way and it is only for woman's clothes. I got to hang out with my two favorite people Marisa and Breanne, two girls that were just perfect for me in every way. Gary and Erica were with us too at some point (I think) We had a day to spend at Machane Yehuda so we walked and talked and I was being a tour guide making myself useful. In the middle of our walk we got separated so me & Marisa stayed together. Let me tell you it felt sooooo good <3 <3 <3 We walked through the streets and even sat down for lunch together. We even held hands and held each other to be safe not to get hit by other cars. I honestly felt so close that I though I we were were a good couple (At least for the time being). And then I pondered to myself "I wonder if she is single" So I was trying to be conscious and not overdoing my love by doing any extremes. I kept it under control I think. We eventually reunited with the group and had tons of fun.
Back at the hotel we had shabbat dinner, a few more discussions, some "fambrengin" (I don't know what this was). At the end we did a map activity and said our thank yous to everyone publicly. We had a gift exchange. I got some candy for a guy named Jordan and he got me a shot glass but the original one broke so at JFK after we got off the plane he got me a new one. Saturday January 9th was our last day at the Hotel and in Israel on the trip. We could have chose to extend the trip for up to three months for $200 (I think) one or two people stayed in Israel but the majority of people flew back with the group like I did.
*** Skipping to the end, Past what we did in the Israeli Airport ***
The flight on the way back got us home 30 mins early. We landed around 5:30 at JFK. Before we landed I shared my pic with Marissa, Bree and David who were looking at it and picking out their favorites. I also gave them a gift of bamba and bracelets to put on their wrists. They thanked me and gave me hugs. When the plane landed I changed into my sweatpants and was almost the last on off because of it, also I was all the way in the back of the plane. I got off, went through the bridge thingy, got my stuff together and jolted as fast as I could to US customs where I was hoping to catch up with my group (Which I did) I cut the line a little bit to be with the group and nobody seemed to care. The line was long and I didn't feel like waiting or being separated without getting numbers or saying our final goodbyes. The line moved faster as we go closer to the front. I had to Jew off $5.00 from David to get a cart. My suitcase came very quickly and there were barely any people around the belt. We were out of there and separated within minutes. Everyone was gone, it sucked, I almost cried but as soon as I got home to my computer I felt much better. I was on my phone communicating with my dad, who I found very easily. I stepped outside with a t shirt and it was freezing out! I had to hang up the phone and put my jacket on. My dad was in terminal 4 section a. On the way out there was a traffic jam due to a retarded person clogging up the road by idling his car right in the middle. The rest is a boring 2 1/2 hour trip down the highway back home. I was an emotional mess and a disaster. Tears were coming out my eyes and I didn't feel good at all. (Again) I felt better as soon as I got home to my computer. When I got home I took my bags in, did the laundry, got online, ate, went to the bathroom, unpacked, filtered out the trash and then caught up online. Later I went to sleep until 4:00 AM and then went to type this blog. It was a lot of fun. I miss everyone. Facebook sometimes just doesn't do en enough for me sometimes. I have reached out to 50 + people that I have met here. I am expanding that to AIM and Skype. I have a webcam and a microphone and I would really like to put some use into it.
We then went to Masada, the dead sea and other places headed towards Jerusalem. Once we got to our final hotel, the "Jerusalem Park Hotel" we got to sit through even more lectures like "The Gift of life" which was for donating bone marrow and "The David Project" where a big cool guy told us about terrorism on Arab TV. A third thing we did was watch a video on a solider named "Michael Levin" (There should be something from this somewhere on the internet). A few days later we visited Har Hertzel and visited many military graves. Michael's was covered in flowers and other love. He was a really special person.
Later on we traveled Jerusalem to places like Yad Vashem, the Jewish Quarter, some Jewish excavational places and the Holocaust museum which was the highlight of the day for me. The final thing we did in Jerusalem was visit Machane Yehuda (The Israeli market place in center city. My uncles have shops there. One has a cleaning supply shop and another has a clothing shop, My third uncle has a clothing shop as well but it was out of the way and it is only for woman's clothes. I got to hang out with my two favorite people Marisa and Breanne, two girls that were just perfect for me in every way. Gary and Erica were with us too at some point (I think) We had a day to spend at Machane Yehuda so we walked and talked and I was being a tour guide making myself useful. In the middle of our walk we got separated so me & Marisa stayed together. Let me tell you it felt sooooo good <3 <3 <3 We walked through the streets and even sat down for lunch together. We even held hands and held each other to be safe not to get hit by other cars. I honestly felt so close that I though I we were were a good couple (At least for the time being). And then I pondered to myself "I wonder if she is single" So I was trying to be conscious and not overdoing my love by doing any extremes. I kept it under control I think. We eventually reunited with the group and had tons of fun.
Back at the hotel we had shabbat dinner, a few more discussions, some "fambrengin" (I don't know what this was). At the end we did a map activity and said our thank yous to everyone publicly. We had a gift exchange. I got some candy for a guy named Jordan and he got me a shot glass but the original one broke so at JFK after we got off the plane he got me a new one. Saturday January 9th was our last day at the Hotel and in Israel on the trip. We could have chose to extend the trip for up to three months for $200 (I think) one or two people stayed in Israel but the majority of people flew back with the group like I did.
*** Skipping to the end, Past what we did in the Israeli Airport ***
The flight on the way back got us home 30 mins early. We landed around 5:30 at JFK. Before we landed I shared my pic with Marissa, Bree and David who were looking at it and picking out their favorites. I also gave them a gift of bamba and bracelets to put on their wrists. They thanked me and gave me hugs. When the plane landed I changed into my sweatpants and was almost the last on off because of it, also I was all the way in the back of the plane. I got off, went through the bridge thingy, got my stuff together and jolted as fast as I could to US customs where I was hoping to catch up with my group (Which I did) I cut the line a little bit to be with the group and nobody seemed to care. The line was long and I didn't feel like waiting or being separated without getting numbers or saying our final goodbyes. The line moved faster as we go closer to the front. I had to Jew off $5.00 from David to get a cart. My suitcase came very quickly and there were barely any people around the belt. We were out of there and separated within minutes. Everyone was gone, it sucked, I almost cried but as soon as I got home to my computer I felt much better. I was on my phone communicating with my dad, who I found very easily. I stepped outside with a t shirt and it was freezing out! I had to hang up the phone and put my jacket on. My dad was in terminal 4 section a. On the way out there was a traffic jam due to a retarded person clogging up the road by idling his car right in the middle. The rest is a boring 2 1/2 hour trip down the highway back home. I was an emotional mess and a disaster. Tears were coming out my eyes and I didn't feel good at all. (Again) I felt better as soon as I got home to my computer. When I got home I took my bags in, did the laundry, got online, ate, went to the bathroom, unpacked, filtered out the trash and then caught up online. Later I went to sleep until 4:00 AM and then went to type this blog. It was a lot of fun. I miss everyone. Facebook sometimes just doesn't do en enough for me sometimes. I have reached out to 50 + people that I have met here. I am expanding that to AIM and Skype. I have a webcam and a microphone and I would really like to put some use into it.
My Trip To Israel Part Two (Continuation)
After baggage claim I could not find or identify anyone from out trip so I went to fill up my water and went to the bathroom which was on the side and secluded from the rest of the airport. After a few minutes I decided just to leave and hoping there would be someone with a sign with our group name on it and indeed there were two people. I was the first one out of there to meet up with them. A short time later more and more people began to come out and find us. In total we were about 40 people give or take (People met us there). As we reunited we exited to a special place for the buses to get our Israeli cell phones and to unpack our suitcases into the bus. After we let all of out stuff go we were greeted by one of the staff there. We had some lunch and got our name tags at orientation. We got back on the bus and traveled up north. On the bus I met Yakir, our safety and first aid person.
I thought we would start out at the hotel and rest but I was wrong. We went directly from the airport to some place in the woods where we sat around and stared off of a mountain, in a circle again. I forget what this place was called and it is not listed on the itinerary card that I am currently looking at. Either way, we were in the woods traveling to new places inside. We started in a circle as usual and had some alcohol to drink. The place we went to had many flies and a whole lotta mud. The whole group was forced to step into the mud and all of our shoes became brown and dirty, which sucked. We tried very hard to clean the mud off but it was like a hard clay in layers at the bottoms of our shows. All I remember is moving rocks and planting trees. As we left everyone was in the bathrooms clearing off the mud with water and paper towels. It took me a while to get mine clean and we left the floor a brown and muddy mess. I was nasty and smelled really bad. Some of the mud was carried on to the bus and it stayed there for most of the trip.
I usually sat in the front of the bus with Yakir and then a very cute girl named Marissa sat next to me (;. I opened up to her a little more every time and eventually we became best friends (From my point of view). I liked her more and more. I'll probably go on about that later. Later she moved over one seat, or to the back and a guy named Gary sat next to me despite all my stuff and Chelsea's stuff were taking up space on the seat leaving almost none for anyone. Also two girls named Claudia and Chelsea sat next to me because the back was no longer a good place for them.
After we left that place we went further north to "Arbel lookout" which was a big mountainous area. After we got done we were finally going to the hotel and we got to see what it looks like. We stayed at "Ohalo Manor" which was in the middle of nowhere and not very fancy (At least the rooms we were in)... I got to room with Gordy and Ryan who always were cool and brought the drinks and the girls over to our room [-=. The room wasn't too clean but it was liveable, at least temporarily. The only good part of the hotel were the food and cafeteria. We were there for a few days listening to series of lectures and activities from the Rabbi and staff. I didn't like that place very much at all. At night time we went out to "Big Ben" a bar in Tiberas. People smoked and got "Shitfaced" / hammered/ drunk.etc. One person got very drunk, pissed of some people and eventually got kicked off of the trip (on the first day) I left early to get to bed. The keys at this place were unusual, we only had one key and had to keep asking each other for it. There was also a card on it to control the power of the room which I have never seen before.
The next day we traveled to Tzfat, then we got ready for shabbat. We had some prayer services then and not a lot of free time. They would not let me opt out even though I was falling a sleep and not feeling well at the time. On Saturday night after Shabbat, We went out to Tzfat again for dinner and fun. Sunday we went out jeeping and visited the borders of Lebanon and Jordan. Jeeping was very exciting and fun for everyone. Sunday night we went out to Tel Aviv at Rabin square to go to another bar which I didn't even make it into for more than two minutes. The music was loud, people were drunk, high and very smelly so I got out of there and took a cab with Erica (one of the staff) as soon as I could. We went back to the hotel and I explored and went on to the internet kiosk to see what was going online. We only stayed there for one night but it was the best, more luxurious hotel I have been into. A nice view, edible food, very nice people, clean and in a very good location. It was in walkable distance from the beach.
Part Three Is In The Next Blog
I thought we would start out at the hotel and rest but I was wrong. We went directly from the airport to some place in the woods where we sat around and stared off of a mountain, in a circle again. I forget what this place was called and it is not listed on the itinerary card that I am currently looking at. Either way, we were in the woods traveling to new places inside. We started in a circle as usual and had some alcohol to drink. The place we went to had many flies and a whole lotta mud. The whole group was forced to step into the mud and all of our shoes became brown and dirty, which sucked. We tried very hard to clean the mud off but it was like a hard clay in layers at the bottoms of our shows. All I remember is moving rocks and planting trees. As we left everyone was in the bathrooms clearing off the mud with water and paper towels. It took me a while to get mine clean and we left the floor a brown and muddy mess. I was nasty and smelled really bad. Some of the mud was carried on to the bus and it stayed there for most of the trip.
I usually sat in the front of the bus with Yakir and then a very cute girl named Marissa sat next to me (;. I opened up to her a little more every time and eventually we became best friends (From my point of view). I liked her more and more. I'll probably go on about that later. Later she moved over one seat, or to the back and a guy named Gary sat next to me despite all my stuff and Chelsea's stuff were taking up space on the seat leaving almost none for anyone. Also two girls named Claudia and Chelsea sat next to me because the back was no longer a good place for them.
After we left that place we went further north to "Arbel lookout" which was a big mountainous area. After we got done we were finally going to the hotel and we got to see what it looks like. We stayed at "Ohalo Manor" which was in the middle of nowhere and not very fancy (At least the rooms we were in)... I got to room with Gordy and Ryan who always were cool and brought the drinks and the girls over to our room [-=. The room wasn't too clean but it was liveable, at least temporarily. The only good part of the hotel were the food and cafeteria. We were there for a few days listening to series of lectures and activities from the Rabbi and staff. I didn't like that place very much at all. At night time we went out to "Big Ben" a bar in Tiberas. People smoked and got "Shitfaced" / hammered/ drunk.etc. One person got very drunk, pissed of some people and eventually got kicked off of the trip (on the first day) I left early to get to bed. The keys at this place were unusual, we only had one key and had to keep asking each other for it. There was also a card on it to control the power of the room which I have never seen before.
The next day we traveled to Tzfat, then we got ready for shabbat. We had some prayer services then and not a lot of free time. They would not let me opt out even though I was falling a sleep and not feeling well at the time. On Saturday night after Shabbat, We went out to Tzfat again for dinner and fun. Sunday we went out jeeping and visited the borders of Lebanon and Jordan. Jeeping was very exciting and fun for everyone. Sunday night we went out to Tel Aviv at Rabin square to go to another bar which I didn't even make it into for more than two minutes. The music was loud, people were drunk, high and very smelly so I got out of there and took a cab with Erica (one of the staff) as soon as I could. We went back to the hotel and I explored and went on to the internet kiosk to see what was going online. We only stayed there for one night but it was the best, more luxurious hotel I have been into. A nice view, edible food, very nice people, clean and in a very good location. It was in walkable distance from the beach.
Part Three Is In The Next Blog
My Trip To Israel
This winter on December 30th 2009, one day before new years I left for the Newark airport bright and early in the morning. My purpose was to meet up with Jewish 18 - 22 year olds who has also signed up for the 09 - 10 winter trip. The group was called "Taglit Birthright Israel" (http://www.facebook.com/TaglitBirthrightIsrael). We were all different people before and after the trip. Prior to the airport we all got a call from the Rabbi, he interviewed all of us over the phone one by one.
My experience signing up was a hassle and wasn't easy for me or my family to go through. I had to have spend at least 5 different phone conversations and 10 e mails back and forth from the group I signed up with. The toughest part was scanning all the pages of my passport and the interview with one of the representatives (Not the rabbi) which seemed like it took forever. I had mentioned to them that I lived in Israel for a year, they were unclear about my statement so I kept getting questions. Things like that put a bar in front of my trip and made a delay.
Once at the airport I mingled with one or two people that I thought were cool. After we got past the gate and security check we got into a big circle and introduced ourselves further. People started to make friends and become more social. However, I was being stubborn and excluded myself because I didn't think anyone would be interesting and I was very shy and anxious at the time, it was not easy.
So we got onto the plane and I was lucky enough to sit next to Dustin and Claudia who were two perfect people that I really enjoyed being with. One thing about that plane was that many of the TV's did not work, mine didn't work either so I had nothing to look at except for the movie "The Hangover" as a third wheel to Dustin's mac computer. I lend them my audio splitters because they needed an extra place to put their headphones so that they could share. I was in flying heaven <3 Most of the flight I just sat there without my glasses out and trying to zone out. During the middle of the flight the air around my seat was getting thin and I was getting a headache because of the lack of clean oxygen and claustrophobia. Luckily on this flight I had many peers to talk to and observe by walking by and giving them eye contact, in addition to that there was no obnoxiously loud crying from babies and the food was pretty good too. I had enough food and water to last me the whole flight. I got an isle seat but unfortunately I was right in front of the wing so I could not watch from the window which was three seats away. My vision was going blurrier and bad anyway so I just took my glasses off and felt the engine roar.
As we were landing I went to a window on the side of the plane to look over but all I could see were while clouds because we were still high in the air. When we landed EVERYONE had their blackberry's iphones and other fancy cell phones. They got text messages saying "welcome to Israel". I was surrounded by girls :D. So we got to the airport, went to get our passports stamped, went through customs and went to baggage claim to get our suitcases. I grabbed a free cart and put my heavy carry-ons on top because they were heavy and stopping my blood flow. There were many people there so it took a while to get a spot and to get my one suitcase. The belt went around many many times until I spotted my suitcase.
Part Two In The Next Blog To Keep This Short.
My experience signing up was a hassle and wasn't easy for me or my family to go through. I had to have spend at least 5 different phone conversations and 10 e mails back and forth from the group I signed up with. The toughest part was scanning all the pages of my passport and the interview with one of the representatives (Not the rabbi) which seemed like it took forever. I had mentioned to them that I lived in Israel for a year, they were unclear about my statement so I kept getting questions. Things like that put a bar in front of my trip and made a delay.
Once at the airport I mingled with one or two people that I thought were cool. After we got past the gate and security check we got into a big circle and introduced ourselves further. People started to make friends and become more social. However, I was being stubborn and excluded myself because I didn't think anyone would be interesting and I was very shy and anxious at the time, it was not easy.
So we got onto the plane and I was lucky enough to sit next to Dustin and Claudia who were two perfect people that I really enjoyed being with. One thing about that plane was that many of the TV's did not work, mine didn't work either so I had nothing to look at except for the movie "The Hangover" as a third wheel to Dustin's mac computer. I lend them my audio splitters because they needed an extra place to put their headphones so that they could share. I was in flying heaven <3 Most of the flight I just sat there without my glasses out and trying to zone out. During the middle of the flight the air around my seat was getting thin and I was getting a headache because of the lack of clean oxygen and claustrophobia. Luckily on this flight I had many peers to talk to and observe by walking by and giving them eye contact, in addition to that there was no obnoxiously loud crying from babies and the food was pretty good too. I had enough food and water to last me the whole flight. I got an isle seat but unfortunately I was right in front of the wing so I could not watch from the window which was three seats away. My vision was going blurrier and bad anyway so I just took my glasses off and felt the engine roar.
As we were landing I went to a window on the side of the plane to look over but all I could see were while clouds because we were still high in the air. When we landed EVERYONE had their blackberry's iphones and other fancy cell phones. They got text messages saying "welcome to Israel". I was surrounded by girls :D. So we got to the airport, went to get our passports stamped, went through customs and went to baggage claim to get our suitcases. I grabbed a free cart and put my heavy carry-ons on top because they were heavy and stopping my blood flow. There were many people there so it took a while to get a spot and to get my one suitcase. The belt went around many many times until I spotted my suitcase.
Part Two In The Next Blog To Keep This Short.
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